a letter to body parts

i grabbed a suitcase

and packed my belongings

i started with my kidneys first

then socks then undies

just two tho

then i looked at my thin spiral bone

it wouldn’t fit so i broke it and chopped it to 32 pieces

i couldn’t find the last one

my bag was too small to carry everything i wanted

i stared at my naked body inside out

felt the cold to my skeletons this time

my blood was so blue freezing from my looks at you

my brain did not function

and my heart did not pump

so i grabbed another suitcase

filled it with whatever dignity i could gather

till my nails chipped

till my flesh dropped

and my male genitals did not match my desire

so i left them hanging with balls stranded out that pelvic

that same pelvic you touched and once thought it belonged to you

with all of the emotions filled the place

yet my nerve system did not work

i was amazed

i was amazed by how my body looked

it was like a much needed change

a mandatory transformation

i emptied my abdomen in a hand bag

and carried it along

blood sneaked out of it dropping mark to track me

i did not know

until i saw your shadow in the vista

while in bellavista i vanished

avoiding my existence in rejection

Love poem, 
collective words 
Not original 
But Suheir Hammad said painfully 
If you ever come across my beloved remind him of me, because he has forgotten 
Oh you who have forgotten me, it has never crossed your mind to ask after me 
Oh you who have forgotten me, repeatedly till pain coming out of her teeth 
Wishing them to ever walk loved and in love 
Know the sun for warmth and the moon for direction,
When you see my beloved
Do not tell him I have cried nightly for him
I waited for him
Just wishing he could speak
Because his words, bring out the god in them
And us poets do not break hearts
Do not intend for ribs to be spoken
Us poets we wail for love and leap warm hearts
While I found myself whole the moment he spoke
Still love aches and I will make him miss that love like sugar aches

Gaza

Once upon a child

Once upon a child lived. 

Once upon a child died. 

Once upon a child lived. 

But didn't. 

Once upon a child born conceived hatred taught and smiled 

Leaving that same child wounded behind 

Once upon a child cried calling for help. 

Voice so loud yet not heard

All nations preserved like salty skin on that beach Gaza. 

 A child a beautiful soul. Yet needs to be taught how to survive 

But Mother Nature extinct existed so a soul ran into the wild 

A child loves a surprise 

But what kind of surprise a child gets in Gaza

Once upon a child 

natural 

I am toxicated and beautiful

lost myself in a chamber full of hearts

strangers from everywhere,

filling the place with love

while I was walking through the side road  I dropped flesh on purpose

for remembrance

flesh for recognition

flesh for a state

for a statue

for sun to burn it and notice

for moon to shine after

do you know what is it like to give away a piece of you

my mother once said, if a glass breaks, it will never be the same again

and us humans, lose that glass every time we forget about where we come from

where our dreams been the same since we were five

where our stink lasts forever in memory

we crave mistakes and moan

we desire flaws and judge

and now the sun is rising, it’s a new day

a beautiful one, I can feel the vibes

air so thick leaving marks on my bedroom window

had me confused thinking rain storms had just left

but I just didn’t notice how hot my room is

autumn

your memory in me is fading

i was furious for it to last

i was nervous for it to be a blast

now it’s dying and it is surely sad

i offered a warm heart to keep shelter from colder nights

and invited you to live within, between my blood and skin

you wounded me like worms eating fresh flesh of a dead animal

and managed to fool me

stabbing a heart that wrapped itself around you  

and swallowed a peace from it

still my favorite season is autumn

and i will still love and break hearts and love and have my heart broken and love

till im numb, till I  don’t feel again

after getting lost in a statue i’ve built with my own hands

i break through the mansion with bare feet then stumble in memory

triple sec solved most of the problems at noon, but midnight breeze brought pain back

where did you come from

what creature gave birth to your soul

all of these questions surrounding my daily life to find a reasonable answer

i’m not really sure if there is one anyways

but what i’m sure about is

if i ever find someone to love me the way i loved you

i'll bury myself adding life to theirs and never let go

face (pure blood)

i'm pure

i'm pure

i'm pure

virgin and a whore, white heart

body and soul

wanting more and more

of what you think, understand and act

that thin line between your shadow and hat

lies beneath a heart once filled with love

once felt from above

below a degree a hallow

a sorrow a suffer, yet flawless

tear to justify life in love

we trust in god

we doubt in hearts

we feel in veins we heal

who's we?

who's us? who's they?

who's who?

once upon a man gave his life and never got it back

returned with no heart to do the act

to kill to hate to masturbate 

to forgive but not to forget

to seal the lips of a stranger

lived in a heart for long

i don't know you anymore

i can’t touch, i cant taste

i cant brush my paste

and rub my blood against the wall

we build our castle, so we destroy

the power used invested and all the hurt intelligent and neglected  

stabbed that innocent smile

and shed a tear

shed a tear 

a night in confusion

last night, i was walking through the small streets looking for parking

and nervous, i got my heart beating too fast

anxious and not knowing what he'd look like

his accent so thick sounded like alejandro on mexican tv

his deep voice awoken senses in me i was afraid that have died

even though they're attached to this life

but maybe it's just me, feeling like a remedy

his disparate look on his face searching for a cigarette questioned my thoughts

he seems sweet, i whispered to myself

and comforting voice said hello, it's pleasure to meet 

with a glass of wine on table scratching my teeth

making me stutter 

his beard so scruff and the world behind his eyes lost connection with god

his breath smelled like passion

and compassionately we kissed

i got lost, in a city i pretended to know, sky was full of haze, air so thick that i can feel it on my skin. dropping sweat from my forehead cutting alleys on my face, sensing tension from that old man looking homeless, dirty, and blind. 
he stopped me and asked for a light, i offered burgers but he said no

he then started rapping making up his words

talking about bombing Iraq and afghanis 

while government so busy not caring for him or his friend

he refuses to vote

voting brings another neglected president he says no one cares

as tears dropped from his eyes

my heart started pumping blood for anger and hatred of humanity

how such a talented man abounded in the streets not asking for money but craving humanity to restore itself

and each one of us to his own